


For the Birds

by Orithain



Series: Tulips [14]
Category: Once a Thief (TV), The X-Files
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:49:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8884597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain
Summary: Some lunatic is trying to steal all the sunflower seeds in the world, and guess who's out to stop him?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, I made it all up about the aphrodisiac properties of sunflower seeds, but it would explain a lot about Mulder, wouldn't it?  
> Originally posted November 1999.

"Oysters, rhinoceros horns, powdered reindeer horn, pine nuts, snails, truffles, and... sunflower seeds."

"Sunflower seeds?" Mac repeated in surprise while Victor was still staring at the Director in complete bemusement. "The others're aphrodisiacs, Vic," he added when he noticed Vic's expression.

"Let me add 'em to the grocery list."

"Trust me, you two don't need any help," Li Ann put in.

"If I might have your attention..." the Director reclaimed their focus.

"Why _are_ we discussing aphrodisiacs?" Mac wanted to know. "And what do sunflower seeds have to do with anything?"

"A recent study discovered that sunflower seeds have aphrodisiac qualities for some people."

"Nice to know, but why do we care?" Mac was still baffled.

"Because it seems that some enterprising soul has decided to corner the market. And he or she has chosen to do so by stealing the entire supply of sunflower seeds. All of them. In the entire world."

"That's a lot of seeds," Vic observed, trying to keep a straight face.

The Director ignored him. "So you, boys and girls, are going to find out who's responsible and stop them," she concluded.

"But where do we even start?" Li Ann asked.

"There is a storage facility just outside of Washington, DC. It has the largest single quantity of the seeds in one location anywhere in the world."

"Washington?" Vic repeated in surprise. "How can we operate outside of Canada?"

The Director tsked reprovingly. "Victor, Victor, Victor. I'm the Director for North America, not just Canada. I simply find it more expedient to maintain separate teams in various locales."

"So that _other_ team I saw... " Vic pounced.

"Was receiving a final briefing before being dispatched to their assigned city," the Director admitted.

"Ha! I knew it!"

"Yes, Victor, you were a clever boy." The Director gave him a verbal pat on the head before returning to the subject at hand. "So you can operate perfectly legally in the States. However, in the interest of expediency, I've asked local law enforcement to liaise with us."

"You want us to work with the local cops?" Mac exclaimed. "They'll arrest _us_!"

"Hardly, Mr. Ramsey. In any event, you'll be working with the FBI, Special Agents Mulder and Scully. And if past experience is any indication," she sighed, "Agent Mulder's two domestic partners as well."

Mac snorted derisively. "As if you didn't plan this to have the advantage of Sin and Alex's ICIN contacts."

She merely smiled. "Off you go now. Run along home and pack your things. Your flight leaves in three hours."

~*~*~ 

"You _will_ cooperate with this investigation, Agent Mulder," Skinner barked.

"But, sir, this has nothing to do with the X-files," Mulder protested.

"No, Agent Mulder, many things do not. You have, however, been specifically requested by a director of an agency with a great deal of international clout." He glanced down at his watch. "They should be waiting for you in your office right now." Having dismissed them, Skinner turned his attention back to his paperwork.

Once in the elevator, Scully teased, "I'd have thought you'd be eager to investigate this case. After all, if the supply of sunflower seeds dries up, you'll probably starve to death."

"Ha ha. Come on, Scully, this sounds about as important as those 'cases' Kersh used to assign to us."

"Maybe," Scully shrugged. "But we have been assigned to it."

Mulder sighed in exasperation as he pushed open the office door, only to stop in his tracks.

"Vic, Mac." He stepped forward to embrace the two while Scully and Li Ann shook hands. He did offer Li Ann a welcoming smile a moment later. "You're the agents we're supposed to work with?" he demanded.

"Well, yes," Vic replied, startled. "Didn't you know?"

"No, Skinner conveniently forgot to mention that little detail," Mulder responded, irritation clear in his voice. He shrugged it off. "Where are you staying?"

They named a centrally located hotel, and Mulder immediately shook his head. "That's crazy. We have loads of room, and it would be a lot more convenient for all of us to have you stay with us."

The Canadians accepted his invitation, pleased that they wouldn't have to stay in a hotel for however long this took. "Are you sure you have enough room for all three of us, though?" Li Ann queried, visions of being unable to sleep because of proximity to her over-sexed partners floating through her head. Not that she objected; quite the contrary, she'd enjoyed the little she'd seen in the past, but it was _not_ conducive to sleep.

Mulder just grinned, and Scully snorted at the idea that there might not be enough room for everyone. Mulder suggested that they stop by the house right away so they could drop off their luggage from the trunk of their rental car and grab a late lunch. It sounded good to everyone, so a little while later they were pulling up in front of Mulder's home.

Vic, Mac and Li Ann could only stare. It was huge, almost palatial in its luxury, but still somehow managed to fit into the landscape. It screamed wealth and privilege as much as Vic's parents' house had, but this was a home rather than a mausoleum as Vic so fondly called the Mansfields'.

"If Mulder can afford this place on his salary," Mac remarked, "we're definitely working for the wrong government."

The others grinned, but Li Ann pointed out," Don't forget who Sin's family is. Entire economies would have to collapse before they'd ever need to live off Mulder's salary."

Vic and Mac looked at her curiously, so she continued, "After we met them, I got curious and I researched her family. Talk about extended! As near as I can tell, the last four generations have all maintained strong links, so fourth cousins are as close as first. That gives them truly impressive numbers, and in many cases, wealth and power married even more wealth and power. They're affiliated with, and often leaders in, major industries in countries around the world. And despite their predilection for law enforcement, several of them have married into crime families."

"How cozy," Mac observed.

Li Ann shrugged. "They go to amazing lengths on both sides to avoid head on confrontations. And they usually succeed." She noticed Mulder and Scully were standing at the door waiting for them, so she got out of the car, prompting her partners to do the same.

"How'd you find out so much?" Vic asked.

Li Ann grinned. "I told Nathan that _you_ wanted to know."

Vic groaned, then scowled as he wondered if Nathan thought this would reconcile him to the idea of Nathan and Allegra dating. _Nothing_ would ever do that.

Once inside, Mulder led them upstairs, leading them to the bedrooms that would be theirs for the length of their stay. Both rooms were large and airy and contained king size beds, huge walk in closets and full en suite bathrooms. The agents looked around with pleasure and wondered if they ever had to leave. Mac and Li Ann admired the decor, recognizing original paintings on the walls and genuine antiques scattered about. There was nothing ostentatious about the rooms, Vic probably didn't even realize the value of many of the items around him, but the two ex-thieves realized that they were surrounded by a not-so-small fortune. It reminded them a great deal of the Tang home that they'd grown up in.

"Why don't you unpack and get settled in, and I'll go down and get lunch started," Mulder suggested.

"Uh, I could give you a hand," Vic immediately offered, remembering a conversation about Mulder's lack of culinary skills.

"Are you implying that I can't make a simple lunch on my own?"

"No! I, er, that is, uh, I just didn't want to take advantage of you. You're already letting us stay in your home; I wouldn't want you to think we expect you to feed us too," Vic babbled on until Mulder's grin stopped him.

"Too bad, you'd probably've been right. Alex and Sin keep the freezer stocked with pre-made meals for when they're not here. All I have to do is nuke 'em."

"You did that on purpose," Vic accused.

"Of course." Mulder grinned unrepentantly. "It almost feels like getting Alex. Only easier," he added over his shoulder as he left the room, leaving Vic sputtering and the others chuckling.

It didn't take them long to unpack, and they soon joined Mulder and Scully downstairs, watching as he pulled a couple of containers out of the freezer and popped them in the microwave, then brought a fresh fruit salad and several cheeses out of the fridge.

"See," he grinned, "even I can't screw this up."

"As long as there's no actual cooking involved," a husky voice observed from the doorway.

"Alex!" Mulder's face lit up, and he pulled his lover into an embrace. "When did you get home?"

"Around 9:00," Alex yawned. "Sin's still asleep."

"No, I only wish I was," the woman in question moaned as she joined the embrace, her eyes still half-closed. She leaned against Mulder, happy to have both of her lovers with her again.

Alex glanced over at the trio watching them and offered a smile of greeting. Since Li Ann was there, he assumed they were there on a case, not just visiting. He made a mental note to talk to Fox and Sin about going up and spending some time with Vic and Allegra. They were all the family he had. While he was thinking, Alex had been preparing a pot of coffee, and the smell as it began to brew got Sin's attention.

She stepped away from Mulder, freeing him to retrieve the now steaming food from the microwave, and waited impatiently for the coffee. She considered grabbing a cup before it was done, but a glance at the warning glint in Alex's eyes stopped her. He hated it when people did that and the rest of the pot was weak. She hovered over the coffeemaker until it was done, then poured a cup for herself and Alex, a questioning look in the others' direction getting shakes of the head. Once she had half a cup down her, she finally smiled at the Canadian agents and greeted them, sparing a quick nod for Scully. Although Sin and Scully were nowhere near as antagonistic as they'd been at first, they were still far from friends.

Alex and Sin eyed the food Mulder'd set out for lunch, but it didn't appeal to them. They quickly cooked up some bacon and eggs for themselves and joined the others at the table. As they ate, the Canadians filled them in on what they knew about the case.

At one point, Alex almost choked on his eggs. "An aphrodisiac, huh?" He gave Mulder a knowing look. "That explains a lot."

Mulder stuck his tongue out at him.

"I could learn to like them," Mac mused.

"God, are you trying to kill me?" Vic exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, like you'd object."

Vic only grinned.

Scully sighed. She'd forgotten that Vic and Mac were just as bad as Mulder and Krycek. Maybe worse. Maybe she should use some of her accumulated vacation time? she mused. When Mulder ostentatiously placed a bag of sunflower seeds at Alex's elbow and Mac grabbed it and tossed it into Vic's lap, she was sure of it.

"Hey!" Mulder protested. "Get your own."

Mac grinned at him, then looked from Alex to Victor. "I did."

Mulder snickered. "Well, get your own sunflower seeds too. There are three of _us_ , so we need 'em more."

"Uh uh," Mac argued, "you share the effort, so you need 'em _less_."

Seeing Mulder open his mouth to continue the discussion, Scully hastily interrupted, "So do you know who owns the warehouse?"

"Storage facility," Li Ann corrected. "Calling this thing a warehouse is like calling Niagara Falls a little trickle. And no, not yet. Nathan is still backtracking through a maze of corporate holding companies.

"We'll ask the Lone Gunmen to look into it," Mulder decided. "If anyone can find out, they can."

"Lone Gunmen?" Li Ann asked.

"Some friends of mine. They're about the best hackers around. If they can't find something, no one can."

The others just shrugged, not knowing the Gunmen, but willing to take Mulder's word for it.

"This means we're going to have to stake out this place, doesn't it?" Mac sighed, already foreseeing long hours of boredom.

"'Fraid so," Mulder agreed. "But... unlike your Director, I think we can multitask." The others looked at him blankly, so he explained, "I don't see any reason why we should be bored. You and Vic team up, I'll go with Alex and Sin, and that leaves Li Ann and Scully, if you're willing to team up temporarily?" he asked them, getting shrugs in response.

"You're assuming an awful lot there, Mulder," Alex pointed out. " _We_ don't work for the FBI."

Mulder lowered his head slightly and peered up at his lover through the curtain of his lashes.

Alex groaned. "I am such a sap."

Li Ann and Scully both smiled, but none of the others wanted to get into a conversation about giving in to their lovers.

Sin sighed, realizing she was going to spend most her time for the foreseeable future staking out a warehouse. It was a good thing her boss also happened to be her cousin, or she'd have a hell of a time getting away with this. Then she glanced at Vic and the others and reconsidered. The Agency would probably drag her into this if she didn't volunteer.

Scully shook her head disapprovingly. "There's no way any of you will pay the slightest bit of attention to work, Mulder. It's a bad idea."

"I like it," Sin said sweetly, unable to resist the opportunity to needle Scully.

Scully smiled coolly. "And here I thought only teenagers liked backseats."

"My, it _has_ been a long time for you, hasn't it, Dana?" Sin sniped.

Mulder winced at the increasing rancor between the two women. He'd thought they'd gotten past this. Alex watched them closely. He'd noticed that Scully reacted badly whenever any mention was made of Fox having a relationship with them, especially if it involved sex. _Tough luck for Skinner. I hope he wasn't expecting anything long term with Red._ He also knew that Sin was exhausted. He just hoped neither of them went for a gun.

Scully saw Mulder's reaction and bit back her reply, much to everyone's relief. "I really don't think it would be a good idea, Mulder," she said instead.

"Actually," Li Ann said slowly, "it's probably better than splitting them up. They'd just get distracted worrying about each other." She shrugged. "Might as well just leave 'em together."

Scully was shocked. She'd expected Li Ann, the rational one, to agree with her. "How can you say that?" she demanded. "They'll be useless."

Li Ann watched her carefully. "You know, I was engaged to both Mac and Victor at different times in the past. I loved them both. So when they first got together as a couple, I tried to keep them apart." She met Scully's gaze directly. "I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I was jealous."

Scully drew herself up angrily. "I am _not_ jealous!"

Li Ann just looked at her and shrugged, then turned to the others, asking who would take the first shift. The Agency had already rented a nearby vacant warehouse that would give them a good view, so it was just a matter of setting up a schedule.

"Alex and Sin obviously just got back and are tired, so they should take the third shift so they can get some sleep first," Mac suggested.

"Makes sense," Vic agreed. "Do you want to go first, or do you want Mac and me to head over?"

Li Ann shrugged. "I'm willing to take the 4:00 to midnight shift if you are, Agent Scully."

Scully eyed her, still thinking about their conversation, but nodded, so the two women left to go start surveillance on a building full of sunflower seeds. Scully sighed, wondering why that didn't even strike her as strange anymore.

"So I guess that makes us midnight to 8:00," Vic sighed. "Oh well, I never was a morning person anyway."

"Soooo... that gives us eight hours to kill. Got any ideas?" Mac smirked.

Sin laughed. "The bedroom's thataway, boys." She waved an arm vaguely upward.

"Gee, what an amazing idea. I'd never have thought of it," Mac marveled. "Thanks, Sin." He grabbed Vic's arm and pulled him toward the door. Then he realized that Vic had passed him and was pulling _him_ along, and he started to laugh. "Someone call us an hour or two before we have to leave," he called over his shoulder before vanishing upstairs.

Once back inside their room, Vic released Mac's hand and threw himself down on the bed, sprawling across it in sensual abandon. He grinned up at Mac, raising his eyebrows as if to say, 'well, what are you waiting for?'

Mac stared down at him, coming closer to place one knee on the bed. "You really want to do this, here, while your cousin and his partners are downstairs listening to us?" As he spoke, one hand moved, seemingly of its own volition, coming to rest on Vic's thigh.

"First of all, I doubt they're still downstairs. I got the impression Sin and Alex have been away for a while, so they're probably fucking Mulder blind right now. Secondly," with a long look through his lashes and slow lick of his lips, "right now, I wouldn't care if they were standing beside the bed giving pointers. I want you." And he arched his hips off the bed momentarily, offering himself to Mac.

Mac gasped and sat down beside Vic, his hand tightening on his thigh before releasing him. "Show me," he rasped.

Wide green eyes focused on him, heat blazing in their depths. Never looking away, Vic slowly unfastened the buttons of his shirt, his fingers stroking each newly revealed inch of flesh. A faint expression of amusement passed over his face as he remembered the T-shirts he always used to wear; somehow, since getting involved with Mac, he never seemed to want more than a single layer between his body and whatever his lover might choose to do. Thought flew away as he touched his nipples, tugging at the stiffened buds, flicking the barbell-style ring bearing Mac's initial and a tiny tulip, and he writhed. He dragged one hand lower, undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt and tugging it free of the dress pants Mac had convinced him to wear for their visit to FBI headquarters.

Mac watched avidly as Vic pleasured himself, knowing what his lover was like when he got in this kind of mood. "Pity we only have eight hours," he mumbled, making Vic grin at him, the tip of his tongue appearing again as he moistened his lips.

Vic stared into Mac's eyes as he unbuttoned his slacks, then gradually lowered the zipper, tooth by tooth or so it seemed to his anxious audience. When it was finally undone, he slipped one hand inside to fondle his cock and balls, sighing as he stroked himself. His other hand was still busy at his nipples, and he squirmed lewdly. Making sure Mac was still watching him, he shimmied out of his pants and briefs and toed off his socks at the same time, leaving himself naked. He spread his legs wide, raising one knee, and continued giving Mac a show.

Mac shifted so he was facing Vic straight on, and he watched closely as Vic languidly caressed himself, long feathery strokes along his chest and belly, sharp flicks of his fingers at his nipples, a firm pumping motion on his cock. Then one hand slid under his ass, running along the crevice to the sensitive opening, which he circled lightly, teasingly, with the tip on one finger. His other hand moved down to his cock, jerking it several times until he shuddered and released himself, not wanting to come yet.

As he watched Vic, Mac was hastily stripping off his own clothes, and he settled back on his haunches between Vic's legs, enjoying the view. Dilated green eyes stared straight at him as Vic pushed himself to the edge again, his hips beginning to rise and fall involuntarily, then stopped again.

"Touch me," Vic begged, needing to feel Mac's hands on him.

"Tell me what you want, Vic."

"You," he gasped. "I want your hands on me, your mouth, your cock..." Vic whined desperately.

"Tell me where. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it," Mac pressed.

Vic moaned, then forced himself to speak coherently. "Kiss me."

He'd barely gotten the words out when Mac's mouth covered his, licking his lips, tracing them with his tongue, nipping gently, then urging his lips to part. Mac explored every last warm, wet inch of Vic's mouth, rubbing over the sensitive spots he'd learned made Vic whimper. He kissed him until lack of air forced them to part, then he came back and did it all over again.

Meanwhile, Vic was squirming beneath him, and finally Mac sat up and watched him again. "What else, babe?"

"My nipples... please, Mac, I need you... suck on me, bite me. Let me feel you."

Mac was happy to oblige. He caught one nipple between his teeth, flicking it with his tongue, then tugging hard, rearing back until the rigid nubbin was stretched between Vic's body and his gripping teeth. Far from objecting to the slight pain, Vic's cock dripped more precome and he tried to arch closer to Mac, wanting more. He rubbed his aching cock against Mac's hip, whimpering in pleasure, but he stopped before he came. It was far too soon for that.

Mac released the reddened nipple long enough to ask, "You like that, Vic? You want more?"

Vic nodded his head frantically, nearly beyond speech now, but knowing that Mac would keep him like this for hours if he didn't keep giving instructions.

Mac turned his attention to the left nipple, tugging it as he had its companion, his tongue probing at the spot where the ring passed through, making Vic whine needfully. He took the two ends into his mouth and pulled gently, careful not to tear the flesh. As he did, one hand was playing with the still damp right nipple, circling around it before pinching sharply. The combined sensations exploded through Vic, and he sobbed Mac's name as he felt his orgasm start to wash over him. He nearly screamed when Mac suddenly pulled back, leaving him poised on the brink.

Mac had to swallow hard, nearly undone by the expression of frustrated pleasure on his lover's face. He almost reached for Vic again to bring him off, wanting to watch him come, but he knew they'd both enjoy it even more for the waiting. So instead he fumbled with his discarded slacks until he found what he was looking for and pulled it out of the pocket. Only then did he grasp Vic's cock.

Vic arched into Mac's hand, then his eyes flew open, and he tried to pull away. But it was too late; Mac had already securely fastened the cockring around his cock and balls. Vic stared down at himself in disbelief.

"You brought that on a case?" he demanded incredulously.

Mac smirked. "I _always_ have that with me. Never know when I'll want to use it on you."

Vic gaped at him. "Sometimes, Ramsey, you scare me."

Mac grinned even more widely and leaned forward to lick the length of his bound cock. Suddenly Vic wasn't interested in any more conversation. His hips rose sharply, pushing into Mac's mouth for an instant before Mac sat up, releasing his cock.

"So what else do you want, babe?" Mac asked innocently, ignoring the almost feral look in the green glare being bent upon him.

"I want you to suck me off!" Vic nearly wailed.

"Sorry, Vic love, it's gonna be a while before you get off, but I'd be more than happy to suck you," Mac said mock apologetically, suiting actions to words.

Vic screamed.

He could feel the sharp pleasure zing along every nerve in his body, building and building beyond anything he'd ever felt before. He wanted, _needed_ to come, but that damned ring was preventing it. Then Mac started working on his nipples again, something that drove him crazy at the best of times, and he went nuts. He tried to tear free of Mac's grip, but the younger man had anticipated his reaction, and he held him down to be pleasured, never pausing in the incredible blowjob he was giving.

Vic gave up, allowing Mac to do whatever he wanted, a constant stream of needy sounds and curses falling from his lips. His entire body went rigid when Mac worked one hand under him, and he felt a finger slip inside him, past the ring of muscle he'd stretched himself a little earlier. He stopped breathing as it slowly sank deeper, stroking over exquisitely sensitive tissue, searching for and finding his prostate, and he nearly came off the bed.

Mac chuckled at his reaction, the vibrations of his laughter around Vic's cock drawing a long whimper from the desperate man. Vic never even noticed when Mac worked a second finger inside him; all he could feel was incredible, overwhelming pleasure. He was beyond distinguishing individual sensations. His body felt like it was sizzling, and when Mac shifted between his legs and pressed the head of his cock inside him, he couldn't even scream. His mouth fell open, but nothing came out. He clawed frantically at the tangled sheets under him, his legs wrapped tightly around Mac's hips, and he bucked up desperately, even knowing that it wouldn't help, that he still wouldn't be able to come.

Mac gritted his teeth and held still, watching as Vic fucked himself on his cock for long minutes, squirming and whining, his body sheened with perspiration, making Mac yearn to lick every inch of him. Finally he couldn't stand it any longer, and he began to move. He thrust into Vic, at first shallowly, then deeper, constantly adjusting his angle until Vic stiffened on one downstroke, his entire body shuddering and an expression of such deep pleasure that it looked like pain on his face. Then Mac slammed in and out of him, his thrusts growing more erratic as he rode the crest of his orgasm, Vic's name tearing from his throat in a guttural scream of ecstasy.

Mac slumped over his lover, faintly aware of his frantic writhing and desperate, almost hysterical whines. Mac stroked the beautiful, needy body under him, licking the stiff little nipples, then reached between them to trail one finger down the length of Vic's erection and back to the rock-hard balls lying heavily between his thighs. He cupped the sac, rolling the balls in the palm of his hand, and Vic ripped the sheets he had clenched in his fists.

With a faint, tired smile, Mac leaned forward again to kiss Vic lightly, tasting his desperation. He smiled down at his lover. "That was amazing, Vic. God, I really need to sleep now."

Animalistic green eyes shot open, not a hint of intelligence showing in their depths as they focused on Vic's tormentor. Mac felt a faint shiver of arousal run through him at the look of total, mindless lust in Vic's eyes.

"Oh, you want me to take care of you first, Vic?" he asked, knowing that he was pushing it. Vic snarled wordlessly.

Mac decided that he was enjoying this too much to stop just yet. He grinned down at the older man, planning his next move. "Okay, babe, I'll take care of you," he purred.

Vic was still eyeing him suspiciously when he shifted forward and sat back, pushing himself down on Vic's cock. Vic found his voice again in a wordless howl, and he thrust upward into the welcoming heat. Mac sank down until he was sitting in the cradle of Vic's pelvis, the rigid cock buried deep inside him, and he slowly contracted and relaxed the muscles of his ass, driving Vic into a frenzy.

Vic twisted under him, more whines falling from his lips, rising to a wild cry as the pleasure built to a climax in him, then continued to build. His eyes shot open again as he realized that he was _still_ bound by the cockring - though he had no idea how he'd managed to forget for even a second - and Mac clearly had no intention of releasing him yet.

Mac smirked at him, his expression making it clear that he was nowhere near done yet. He caught one of Vic's hands and drew it to his faintly stirring cock. "I still need some time to recover, but I didn't want you to feel neglected in the meantime."

A faint sob escaped Vic.

Mac undulated languidly above him, his movements enough to prevent Vic's arousal from decreasing even the slightest bit. Slowly, his cock firmed and filled again, and Vic's hand rose from the sheets it was again clutching to pet him. Both men noticed that Vic's hand was shaking, and an expression of glee appeared on Mac's face.

"Mac, please!" Vic begged. His heart was pounding, his dick was throbbing, he thought he might actually die if Mac didn't let him come soon. But he never, even for a second, considered releasing himself.

Mac eyed him, making sure that he wasn't pushing Vic too far, and what he saw reassured him. He shifted his hands on Vic's chest, once again teasing the aroused nipples, and Vic screamed again, making Mac laugh.

Mac began to move more purposefully, raising and lowering himself on Vic's cock while Vic swore at him.

"What's wrong, Vic?" he chuckled. "Do you want me to stop?"

Vic's hands suddenly abandoned the bed sheets to clench on Mac's hips instead. "Don't you fucking dare!"

Mac continued to move, only vaguely aware of Vic's hands on his hips in a grip that was going to leave bruises. His own cock was rigid again, and he left off tormenting Vic's nipples with one hand to move it down to his own cock. Vic watched him, his eyes glued to that lightly tanned hand moving against the darkly flushed cock. His lips parted and he could almost feel that cock sliding between them, the familiar taste of his lover on his tongue.

"Don't come," he suddenly demanded.

"Afraid I'll leave you behind again?" Mac teased.

Vic ignored the words, still focusing on that steely cock. "I want to taste you."

It was Mac's turn to moan as the words made him instantly picture Vic's mouth on him. He shuddered at the image, remembering how good it felt in Vic's mouth, how his tongue caressed him. He started to pull off of Vic, meaning to move forward until Vic could suck him, but Vic tightened his grip on his hips, holding him in place.

Mac grumbled a protest, and Vic grinned painfully. "Not. Yet," he gritted out, his entire body one massive knot of tension begging to be released. "Now _you_ wait."

Mac groaned and bent over so he could reach Vic's chest, catching first one nipple then the other between his teeth and biting hard. He knew that at this stage, Vic didn't want gentleness; he wanted the sharpness of the tiny bites that translated into pleasure. Mac nipped and tugged at the reddened, hypersensitive buds while Vic gasped and squirmed. It wasn't long before he felt Vic loosen his grasp, allowing him to move forward and slide his cock between his lover's eager lips.

Vic suckled hungrily, tasting the sharp, salty flavor of Mac. He let Mac slide in completely while he used the flat of his tongue to rub him, then pulled back so only the bulbous head remained inside, and he licked at the precome oozing steadily from the slit. He could feel Mac quivering as he approached his climax, and Vic took him a little deeper and sucked a little harder.

Mac cried Vic's name as the pleasure blossomed at the base of his spine, spreading through him in a shorter but no less pleasurable burst than his first. He slumped over Vic again, feeling the world spin, then he realized that Vic _had_ spun him, flipping them over so Mac was flat on his back on the bed. Now Vic leaned over him, opening his mouth slightly and letting Mac's come dribble out onto his chest, forming a "V" with the fluid. When he was satisfied, Vic swallowed the remainder in his mouth, then kissed Mac deeply, rubbing desperately against his thigh all the while. After a time, Vic reared back to admire his mark. "Mine," he said.

Mac could only whimper his acquiescence. He watched wide-eyed as Vic slowly licked the come back off his chest, pausing for an occasional foray into his navel or over to his nipples. Although his cock was down for the count now, he still loved feeling Vic touch him. When Vic finished licking him clean and sat up, Mac pulled his legs back to his chest, offering himself to his lover. Vic moaned and started to move forward, only to be halted by Mac's hand splayed against his chest.

In reply to Vic's surprised look, Mac smiled reassuringly and drew the hand lightly down his torso to the binding around his aching cock. He carefully removed it, making sure to touch the straining flesh as little as possible so Vic wouldn't come too soon. As soon as he freed the older man, Mac resumed his prone position, again pulling his legs tightly back against his chest, and waited.

Vic forced himself to wait a moment, just looking at the beautiful sight of Mac, open and waiting for him. Then he couldn't hold back another instant and he pushed into Mac, a long groan pulled from him as he felt Mac's heat engulf him. His hips were already moving almost before he was all the way in, thrusting desperately, the prolonged tease making him hair-triggered. Mac stared into his eyes as he moved in and out, seeing the pleasure on his face, watching him come and hearing his own name screamed in overwhelming pleasure before Vic collapsed on top of him, momentarily losing consciousness from the long-delayed climax.

Vic's eyes blinked open after only a brief time, and he withdrew, allowing Mac to straighten his protesting legs. Vic stretched out beside Mac, who rolled against him, nuzzling his head into the hollow of his shoulder. Vic smiled when he felt Mac's arm drape across his chest.

"We should get up," Vic murmured. "Technically, we're still supposed to be working."

Mac snorted. "Forget it, Mr. Responsibility. We're gonna put in our eight hours in a little while, so right now, get some sleep."

"But-"

" _No_ , Vic! Sleep. Now." Mac nipped at his shoulder for emphasis.

Vic yelped and subsided. He didn't really want to move anyhow.

~*~*~ 

Mulder, Alex and Sin barely restrained their laughter as the two men disappeared upstairs.

"Gee," Alex snickered, "I wonder what they're going to do."

"I dunno," Mulder played along, "play Parcheesi?"

"Idiots." Sin shook her head, hiding her own grin as she reached for more coffee.

Alex slapped her hand away. "Are you nuts, blondie?"

"No, but you're gonna be dead if you call me blondie again," she replied sweetly, making Mulder snicker.

Alex grinned, telling her that she was going to keep hearing it now that she'd let him know that it bugged her. Sin sighed.

"The point, short stuff," he got another glare for that, "is that we need to get some sleep and drinking half a pot of coffee won't help."

"Oh." She looked wistfully at the steaming coffee. "Good point."

"Come on," Mulder said, herding them upstairs, "bed."

He knew they were exhausted when neither of them argued with him but instead almost threw themselves into the bed as soon as they got inside the bedroom. They paused only long enough to toss their robes over a chair before crawling between the sheets with contented sighs. Mulder eyed them for a moment before deciding to join them. He stripped off his clothes and slid under the covers, spooning up behind Sin.

Feeling Fox against her, Sin shifted, rolling over him so he ended up in the middle, and she and Alex both nestled against him. They'd missed him the last several days while they'd been away, and they needed to touch him now that they were home.

Mulder held both of his lovers to him, feeling content for the first time since they'd left. He smiled to himself and dozed off with one in each arm.

It seemed like they'd just fallen asleep when they were jolted awake by the yells and howls coming from down the hall. Sin groaned.

"I _knew_ I should have had the bedrooms soundproofed," she grumbled.

"Fuck, every room in the place should be soundproofed," Alex muttered back.

"Well, _they_ certainly sound happy," Mulder sighed. "There's no way in hell we're going to get back to sleep till they're done."

"Do you think it would be too obvious if we gave them a matching pair of gags?" Alex asked, making the others laugh.

"Well, you know the old saying, 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em'?" Mulder suggested.

"God, Fox, I don't believe I'm saying this," Alex moaned, "but I'm too tired. I need to sleep."

"Poor, tired baby," Mulder soothed. "You just lie back and let me do the work."

Alex whimpered. He was so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open, but there was no way in hell he could ignore Fox. He watched sleepily as Fox looked him up and down and licked his lips, a possessive gleam in his eyes. Then Fox's head lowered, and that fuckable mouth came toward him, and Alex felt his own cock twitch and start to fill. Fox leaned a little closer, his lips parted, and... he breathed on Alex. The moist warm of his breath caressed the sensitive head of Alex's cock, and the younger man bit his lip, his hips arching slightly off the bed. He felt himself brush against those lips, and he moaned softly.

Fox licked lightly along the length of the stirring cock, then pressed his nose against the base, inhaling his lover's unique odor. Only then did he really feel that Alex was home again and relax. He felt hands in his hair and looked up to find Alex clutching at him and Sin smiling understandingly. He thought vaguely that it was funny that it was Sin who best understood his fear of losing Alex every time they were separated, but then again, she'd seen him when he'd thought he'd never see Alex again. He'd never had to face that with her yet. Alex's impatient shifting under him drew his attention back where it belonged, and he sucked on the tender skin there in the crease between pelvis and leg, marking Alex as his again.

Raising his head, he assessed the mark, then growled his satisfaction. He dropped a possessive kiss in the center of it, then licked along the skin until he reached the prominent hipbone. He frowned a bit, noticing that Alex had lost weight. He turned his attention back to his explorations, planning to lick every inch of the younger man's body. He moved back to the indentation of Alex's navel and teased it with his tongue, slowing probing and withdrawing, before he nibbled along the trail of fine hairs leading back up to his chest. Mulder stopped to tug on each and every hair with his teeth, or that was how it felt to Alex. When he reached the wide chest, he rested his chin on Alex's sternum while he considered his next move.

Alex slitted his eyes open and glared down at the man draped over him. "This is no time for a coffee break, Fox."

Mulder snickered. "Just... surveying my domain, babe."

Alex dropped his head back onto the pillow with a groan. Wonderful, just wonderful. He was riding the rough edge of exhaustion, and Fox was feeling playful.

Mulder smiled at his reaction, but he realized that Alex really was too tired for him to draw this out too much. He focused on the hardened nipples before him and blew on one, seeing it stiffen even more under the added stimulation. He pressed a kiss just below the aureole, and he couldn't hold back a smug grin when Alex twitched under him. He lightly licked around the edges, the thumb of one hand flicking its companion. He continued the tease until Alex moaned his name and clutched his head, trying to pull him closer, then he suddenly bit the aroused nipple. Alex yelped even as he pulled Fox closer still, not wanting him to stop.

Fox reached up and pulled one of Alex's hands free, caressing it, then he placed the hand over the lube on the nightstand. "Get me ready for you, Alex," he purred, momentarily relinquishing the reddened nipple.

Alex's breath hitched, and he hastily opened the tube, squeezing out a generous amount into one hand. He coated the fingers of his other hand with the slick, then reached down to stroke Fox's ass. He caressed the taut muscles, kneading them much as Fox was doing to his chest. Fox let him know it was time to move on with a sharp nip, and Alex chuckled. He stroked the length of the crevice, working his fingers far enough down to nudge Mulder's balls, then back up to tease the tight ring of muscle. He felt Fox quiver against him and moan softly when he used a feather soft touch on his anus, so he did it again. And again. And again. Only when Fox was squirming on top of him and panting did he slowly work one finger inside him.

Fox tried to push back onto that exploring finger, but Alex's other hand on his ass held him down. Mulder turned back to Alex's nipples, trying to excite the man enough to lose control. Alex moaned and gave Fox what he wanted by sliding another finger inside him, the two digits spreading the lubricant and stretching the muscle. Mulder grumbled a protest when the fingers were removed, but after a quick pause for more lube, they were replaced by something harder, hotter, that nudged at his entrance.

Mulder moaned and sat up, reaching behind himself to position and steady Alex, then raised himself higher and came down on Alex's cock, impaling himself. The harsh groans of pleasure from both men woke Sin back up, and her eyes fluttered open, instantly focusing on Fox riding Alex. Her gasp told them she was awake again, and both men looked at her with pleasure-glazed eyes.

Fox rode Alex, both moaning at the intense sensations, and he reached over to Sin, his hand moving along her body until his fingers slid inside her. Seeing them had obviously excited her since she was wet and ready for him, and Mulder worked his fingers inside her. Suddenly, on the next upstroke, Mulder rose off of Alex and turned around so that his back was to the other man.

"Sit up against the headboard," he ordered over his shoulder, and Alex obeyed instantly. As soon as Alex was settled, Fox slid back down onto him, both men sighing their satisfaction. Then Mulder looked back at Sin, who was watching them avidly. "Come here," he commanded.

Sin moved around in front of Fox, straddling Alex's legs to face him. Fox pulled her forward, telling her to lie back. When she did, he curled his hands under her ass, raising her to him and pulled her onto him.

Alex had his chin on Fox's shoulder, and he watched Fox's cock disappear inside Sin. He felt Fox start to undulate between them, his slow, languid motions driving Alex in and out of him while pushing him in and out of Sin. He clutched Fox's hips even as Fox was doing to Sin, all of them knowing that they'd be wearing sets of fingerprints the next day but not caring.

Sin moaned, squirming, but she was nearly helpless in this position, dependent on Fox to move, to bring them both pleasure. Alex too could do little with the other two on top of him, so Fox was in charge this time, as he'd said he would be.

Fox raised Sin a little and bent forward, sucking on a nipple until the awkward position forced him to straighten up. He suddenly grinned.

"You know, I guess it was pretty selfish of me to force you into this when you're both so tired. I should let you get some sleep." And he shifted a bit as if to disengage from them.

Sin's nails were suddenly imbedded in his thighs, and Alex had tightened his grip on his hips and yanked him back so hard he thought he might have bruises on his ass. Despite the pains, he had to laugh.

"Guess you changed your mind, huh?"

"Smart ass!" Sin snarled, while Alex contented himself with a vicious bite at the side of his neck. Once he started, he decided he had a good idea and continued biting and sucking until a huge mark blossomed on Fox's neck.

Fox whimpered when he felt Alex marking him, his hips starting to move faster, with more purpose. Alex groaned loudly, then moved one hand between Fox and Sin, rubbing her clitoris and feeling Fox's cock sliding against him with every thrust. Sin felt the added sensation and her eyes flew open, focusing on Alex touching her while Fox filled her, and she yelled something that tried to be both their names.

Mulder felt the rippling sensations along his cock, and he moaned. He held Sin more tightly to him, pushing into her harder, and she whimpered as the sensations started building again. Fox continued moving between his lovers, feeling Alex deep inside him and Sin clenching around him. He felt Alex's hand on his hip and Sin's hands on his thighs, and he felt their love. His orgasm washed over him and he moaned, not even realizing that he was chanting "love you, love you," over and over again.

Alex, however, heard him, and the sound of Fox saying he loved him and the sensation of his ass clenching down on him as he came triggered his own climax. He buried his face in Fox's neck, biting down again in the same place he'd marked him only a little while earlier.

Sin stared up at them, seeing the pleasure on their faces, and she moaned as she came again, arching up into Fox's grasp.

A short while later, they lay tangled together, just holding one another. Alex suddenly chuckled.

"Now can I get some sleep?"

Fox hit him with a pillow as they all burst into laughter. "Yes, now you can get some sleep," he finally managed to say. "I think I can too."

Alex hugged him close, knowing that he had difficulty sleeping alone. With a final kiss, he lay his head back on Fox's shoulder, and they gradually dozed off.

~*~*~ 

When Vic and Mac relieved Scully and Li Ann later that evening, they told them that everything had been quiet while they were there. No one had gone in or out of the warehouse. The women went back to the house to get dinner and relax, and the guys settled down with their pizza to watch.

"So what are we supposed to do in an abandoned warehouse, make shadow animals?" Mac grumbled.

"Can't even do that," Vic replied with a smothered grin. "The light would show, and that would be kind of obvious in a supposedly abandoned building."

"Shit! Tomorrow we move some stuff and people in here so it looks like we're in business or doing business or something. I don't believe we have to sit here in the dark for eight hours!"

Vic started to laugh. "Sorry, babe, I couldn't resist. The Director started people working here a few days ago... as you'd know if you ever actually read the briefing files. This is the night watchman's office, so light will be expected here."

Mac glared for a moment, then smirked. "Hell, Victor, I don't have to waste my time reading the files; I have you."

Vic smacked him, which was exactly what Mac hoped for. A confused few moments later, Vic found himself flat on his back, with Mac on top of him, holding him down. He stared up at his lover, who grinned down at him, then kissed him teasingly. Vic tried to press closer, wanting more contact, but Mac held him back.

"Sorry, Vic, we're working, remember?" He chuckled at the varied curses, some in a Chinese dialect that Vic didn't even speak and had obviously picked up from him. "Come on, beautiful, you know the last thing we need is more stories about Vic and Mac making out on the job to start going around the Agency. I'm tired of being the butt of all the jokes. No one seems to notice that we still solve all our cases!" he sulked.

Vic caught the pouting lower lip between his teeth and tugged gently. "You're right," he sighed. "Okay, let me up, and we'll be good little agents and watch the empty building." He grumbled under his breath for a moment. "Who really cares anyhow if this guy steals bird seeds?"

"Sunflower seeds, Vic. They're actually very good. You should try them sometime." As he was talking, Mac rolled off Vic and stood up, offering his hand to his partner to help him to his feet.

"Whatever. I just don't get..." He trailed off, staring out the window with his jaw hanging open.

Mac looked up in surprise at Vic's abrupt silence and saw his expression. He turned to look outside, wondering what had shocked the older man, and he froze in his turn.

"Uh, Mac?"

"Yeah, Vic?"

Silence for a long moment, then, "Do you see what I see?"

"That depends," Mac replied warily. "What do you see?"

"I asked you first."

"Well, uh, do you see a giant Rocky and Bullwinkle walking toward the factory?"

"Actually, I'd say that they were... sneaking. Sorta. They're doing a kind of exaggerated tiptoe while hunched over, just like cartoon sneaks." Another long pause. "Is that what you see?"

"Uh huh." Mac couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight outside even for an instant to glance at Vic. "Do you think we should call the others?"

"And say what? Attention, be on the lookout for a giant moose and a squirrel in an aviator's cap?" Vic sounded disgusted.

Mac groaned and leaned his forehead against the window, hoping the cool glass would do him some good. "I _know_ it sounds stupid, and I don't want to be a laughingstock any more than you do, but that _is_ what we're seeing."

It was Vic's turn to groan. "Shit!"

"They've gone inside," Mac reported, watching the odd twosome while Vic cursed. "Do we just wait for them to come out, or should we call the others to back us up?"

"Against Rocky and Bullwinkle?!?"

"Well, I'd say that the odds are pretty good that they have something to do with the case. Unless you think they were just out for a stroll dressed like that?"

"Very funny." Vic sighed heavily. " I suppose we'd better call the others." He looked at Mac. "You call."

"Oh right, make me sound like an idiot. I don't think so. Besides, you saw them first."

Vic lowered his head slightly and looked up at Mac through his lashes.

"No!"

A slow blink made the eyelashes flutter, then a pleading gleam appeared in the green gaze.

"No." More faintly.

Vic's head dropped onto Mac's shoulder, and he nuzzled the younger man's throat.

"Shit!"

Vic grinned.

Grumbling under his breath, Mac called Mulder, telling him that he and Vic had seen two suspicious characters entering the warehouse. He ignored Vic's snicker at the description and avoided mentioning exactly what they looked like. He promised that he and Victor would stay put until the others arrived unless the suspects left.

"Happy now?" He glared half-heartedly at the man now nibbling on his ear, nearly going cross-eyed in the process.

"Deliriously," Vic mumbled, more concerned with tasting Mac than with his lover's complaints. He knew he could improve Mac's mood in moments if he really tried. "Keep watch on the warehouse, babe."

"And just what exactly are you going to be doing?"

Vic chuckled. "Oh, don't worry about me. There's plenty here to keep me entertained."

Mac groaned. "You're a damned tease."

"Nope," Vic denied. "I'm just building the anticipation, lover. Tell you what... I get to play now, and you can do whatever you want when we get back to the house."

Mac's eyes lit up, and a truly lascivious grin appeared on his face. " _Anything_ I want?"

Vic swallowed hard but nodded.

"Good," Mac practically purred.

Vic whimpered.

~*~*~ 

Mulder, Krycek, and Sin showed up about 20 minutes later, having decided not to disturb Scully and Li Ann.

"After all," Mulder pointed out reasonably, "if the five of us can't handle this, two more aren't going to make a difference."

Alex snorted.

"What?" Mulder demanded, sounding faintly insulted.

"Come on, Mulder," Alex snickered, "you know perfectly well that you're expecting Scully to come rescue you if anything goes wrong."

Mulder just grinned, not denying it.

"Is _that_ why you keep ditching her?" Sin sounded startled.

"You mean you never figured it out?" Mulder was surprised. "Not only do I not want her to get hurt tilting at my windmills, if she's with me, she can't come rescue me if I get caught."

Sin burst into laughter. When she could speak again, she suggested, "Let's try to avoid that, shall we? _I_ really have no desire to be rescued by your partner."

"What the fuck?!" Alex's exclamation distracted everyone.

Mac snickered. "I _told_ you they were suspicious characters."

Alex glared over his shoulder. "You conveniently forgot to mention that they were _cartoon_ characters!"

"Oh, did I?" Mac asked innocently, earning another dirty look from Alex.

Vic was biting his lip, trying desperately not to laugh. He enjoyed seeing Alex and Mac together. It was a pleasant change to watch Mac having to deal with someone who could be just as annoying as he was.

"Uh, guys," Sin interrupted, "how about we hold the great cartoon debate some other time?"

Both men just stared at her in annoyance, so Mulder jumped in. "How about 'follow that moose and squirrel'?"

Mac and Alex spun around to the window, and sure enough, while they'd been arguing, their suspects had gotten into a car and were about to drive away.

"Shit!" Alex yelped and started for the door but was brought up short by Sin's voice.

"Don't waste your time, babe; I planted a bug on it when we came in."

"You couldn't have shared that little piece of news with us?" Alex grumbled.

"I just did," Sin pointed out sweetly, grinning when she heard the sound of Alex's teeth grinding.

"Why don't we just arrest them?" Mac wanted to know.

"For what? They left the warehouse empty handed, and for all we know, they had a key and a perfectly legitimate reason for being here." Mulder ignored the disbelieving looks and Alex's mutter of 'whatever you say, Scully.' "Right now, all they've done is drive around at night in Rocky and Bullwinkle costumes. Which, while admittedly more than a little odd, is not a crime, last I heard."

Mac glared at him in frustration. "Damnit, can't you ever be wrong?"

"Yes!" chorused Sin and Alex.

"We don't need to discuss that," Mulder said hastily.

"Oh, I don't know," Mac smirked, "sounds like they might have some interesting stories to tell."

Mulder glared at the younger man. "Concentrate on the case, Ramsey! And as for you..." he turned toward Alex, who ducked his head slightly and looked up at him through his lashes.

Mac recognized the exact same move Vic had used on him earlier and burst into laughter, drawing everyone's startled attention. "They _both_ do it!" he gasped out, and Mulder turned a suddenly knowing look on Alex and Victor. "Give it up, Mulder. When they start that, you might as well just run up the white flag."

Mulder laughed sharply. "I've noticed. So, Vic does it too, huh?"

"Yup. Genetically encoded flirting!"

Vic hit him.

"Okay, play nice, boys, or I'll have to give you time outs," Sin laughed.

"Shouldn't we be following the wildlife?" Vic wondered.

"Soon," Sin explained, "we don't want to make it too obvious that we're following them."

"Why _are_ we going to follow them?" Alex asked, now wrapped around Fox with his head tucked under his chin.

"Because in all likelihood they'll lead us to the stolen sunflower seeds. I really doubt that they've eaten several tons of the things, no matter how oversexed they are."

"I'm really going to have to see about a lifetime supply," Mac mumbled.

"Only if I get a matching supply," Vic laughed. "Either that or you're gonna get _very_ frustrated, lover. I don't share."

"Selfish!" Mac mock pouted.

Vic raised an eyebrow. "Okay, babe, I'll share if you will."

"No fucking way!" Mac instantly growled, and Vic smirked.

"And so ends _that_ discussion," Sin chuckled. "Come on, guys, time to go follow the cartoon characters." Without waiting for a response, she headed for the exit, confident that they would follow her.

Once they got outside, they eyed the two cars, debating whether they should stick together or keep the increased mobility of two vehicles.

"We'd better take both," Mulder decided. "Just in case they split up."

"Try to keep up," Alex tossed over his shoulder to Mac, sliding into the driver's seat before Mulder could.

Mac glared at him, and Vic grabbed the keys to head off another battle. Mac tried to get them back, and Vic looked up at him meltingly through his lashes.

"Fuck! That is so unfair."

Vic smirked up at him. "Yeah, right and you never pout at me. All's fair, Mac."

Mac huffed and sulked in his corner of the seat while the others pulled out and Vic followed them.

Mulder glanced over his shoulder and saw that Mac was sitting stiffly in one corner of the seat, and he snickered. "You should be ashamed of yourself, Alex. You've upset poor Mac."

Alex laughed. "That'll just make them enjoy making up all the more. Consider it my community service."

"What a guy," Mulder marveled.

"I know, it's tough being such a humanitarian, but I do my best," Alex replied humbly.

Sin made gagging noises, and Mulder lost it.

"Hey, cut the comedy routine, guys," she suddenly said, "we're almost on top of the tracker."

Alex instantly settled down, following her directions toward the source of the signal. Mulder watched with interest, never having had the opportunity to really observe his two lovers working together before. The closest he'd come had been on that case in Toronto with the Agency, but they hadn't really worked together there. Seeing them now, he felt a lot more comfortable about the next time they'd leave on an assignment. They obviously worked well as a team.

He chuckled faintly. It was nice to know that they could cooperate on something other than teasing and tormenting him. He looked up to find them watching him curiously, and he shook his head. "It's nothing," he dismissed.

Alex and Sin let it go, but there was a gleam in Alex's eyes that told him he hadn't heard the last of it. Once Alex's curiosity was aroused, he could be incredibly persistent.

"Worse than a damned cat," Mulder mumbled.

Sin laughed, knowing perfectly well what Mulder was referring to, and Alex grinned over his shoulder at him.

"There!" Sin suddenly said, pointing at a cabin set back from the road.

"How cliched," Mulder mourned. "Will there be hounds baying at the moon too?"

"Concentrate, guys!" Sin snapped, dropping into professional mode. "Ludicrous as these guys are, we don't know if they're armed. Watch yourselves."

Mulder nodded. "I know; it's just hard to get past the costumes."

"Ask Vic about getting shot by a clown sometime," Alex advised.

"A _clown_? Never mind, I don't even want to think about it right now," Mulder said hastily. "Speaking of Vic, where are they?"

"Right here," Mac replied almost in his ear, making Mulder jump.

"Jesus! Where the hell did you come from?!"

Mac smirked. "Well, first there's the ovum, then there's the sperm..."

"Smartass!" Mulder snarled. "I _meant_ how did you sneak up on us?"

"Did you somehow miss the fact that I'm a thief? I'd be a pretty poor one if you could hear me coming."

"Actually," Alex drawled, "I'm pretty sure the _neighbors_ hear you coming."

Vic choked and blushed bright red, and even Mac looked a little embarrassed.

"Rocky and Bullwinkle?" Vic prompted.

"Inside presumably," Sin replied. "The sensor is motionless just around to the right of the cabin, so the jeep must be parked there."

"Well, what are we waiting for?"

"Reasonable cause?" Mulder suggested, garnering astonished looks from the others.

"To decide who's going in where," Sin said.

Fifteen minutes later, the five agents burst into the house where they found the two men, still wearing the Rocky and Bullwinkle costumes, sitting at a table surrounded by cases and cases of sunflower seeds. Rocky let out a girly scream that gave them all headaches and made Alex seriously consider shooting him, then Bullwinkle heaved a sack of seeds at them, hitting Mac in the gut.

The young man doubled over, the breath knocked out of him, and when everyone was momentarily distracted by that, Rocky snatched up another sack and tossed it at them. Totally pissed off, Mulder shot at him, meaning to wing him to prevent him from throwing any more, but just as he pulled the trigger, a sack from Bullwinkle passed in front him. The bullet hit the bag, tearing through it, and the next thing they knew, they were in the midst of a veritable hail of seeds.

The next few moments were chaotic as people yelped while being pelted by sunflower seeds, Rocky and Bullwinkle tried to take advantage of the confusion to escape, and Vic and Alex tackled them and sat on them.

Looking over at the two identical men, the other three all wished they were the ones under them, and they were all inspired to rid themselves of their prisoners as quickly as possible.

"Does it strike anyone else that it's very odd that we solved this oh-so-difficult case in less than a day?" Vic asked.

Mac shrugged. "Against Rocky and Bullwinkle? Not really. Maybe this is the Director's way of giving us a vacation."

Vic frowned up at him. "You know, you may have something there."

"There's something else I want to have, so can we _please_ call the cops to come pick up these bozos?" Vic was dialing before the last word had left Mac's lips, visions of Mac taking him filling his head.

"Cuffs would be good round about now," Sin hinted.

"Kinky, short stuff," Mac snickered.

"One more height joke, Ramsey, and you won't be any good to Vic or anyone else," Sin promised.

"Sheesh. Talk about touchy." But Mac made sure he was a safe distance away from her before he said it.

"No cuffs, but I think that cord will do," Alex said, nodding toward a pile in one corner. No one wanted to think too much about what the moose and squirrel might have intended to do with it, but it served the purpose. While Mac secured the prisoners, Mulder placed a call to Skinner and the local police department, asking for someone to come take custody of the men and the evidence.

"Better make sure you bring a couple of trucks," Mulder advised the person on the other end. "The evidence happens to be what looks like a couple of tons of sunflower seeds. On second thought, you might be better off just sealing the cabin... What? No, I am _not_ insane... Look, just call Assistant Director Walter Skinner at the FBI, and he'll confirm my story. This is an actual federal case!" He pushed the end button so hard he nearly sprained his finger. "Why doesn't anybody ever believe me?"

The others snickered. "Just imagine if you'd told him the prisoners were Rocky and Bullwinkle," Alex gasped out between giggles.

Mulder glared. Then he paced around the small area of the cabin not filled with crates of seeds until the others were ready to shoot him. " _What_ is taking them so long?" he demanded.

"Possibly the fact that you're about 20 miles from nowhere," a familiar silky purr responded, and they turned in surprise to see the Director. She was wearing one of her more bizarre outfits, a schoolmarmish suit and blouse buttoned up to her throat... and both made of a completely transparent, clingy material that showed off the leather catsuit she was wearing beneath them. Somehow, her favorite riding crop seemed to go with it.

"Why, boys," she said, "you seem to be covered in seeds. And I'll just bet you have some in the most intriguing places," she cooed, making them back away nervously. "Let me guess, you're planning to practice for Best Extraction?"

Victor and Mac winced and wondered vaguely what the Americans were making of all this.

The Director trailed a blood red talon along Mac's cheek. "I'll bet you're just yummy lightly salted."

Vic actually growled and yanked Mac away from her, placing himself between the two of them. "Mine!" he snapped.

"Why, Victor, how sweet. I never realized you had such caveman-like impulses. You could even beat out Dobrinsky in that category." She waited a beat, then continued, "Then again, perhaps I should try you out myself." It was Mac's turn to issue a challenging rumble of annoyance, and she laughed softly. "Perhaps not. Shoo, kiddies. Go play, and don't get yourselves arrested. I won't expect you back at work for another week."

"The prisoners?" Mulder asked.

The Director raised a supercilious brow. "I think I can handle Rocky and Bullwinkle here on my own."

Mulder eyed her uncertainly, and Vic jumped in before he could get himself into trouble. "Trust me, Mulder, she doesn't need our help." He looked at her. "Hell, throw her in a pit with a cobra, a mongoose and lion, and I know who I'm betting will come out alive," he muttered.

"What a sweet boy you are, Victor," she cooed, and he decided to get out while he still could.

"I don't know about you, but _I_ am leaving _now_." Vic turned and marched out the door, not bothering to see if anyone followed or not.

Mac took one look at that delicious ass vanishing through the door and followed. In fact, he followed so closely that his tongue got stuck in Vic's ear, and they stumbled to a halt against their car. Mac spun Vic around in his arms, humping against him, their hands moving frantically over each other.

"Shit," Vic breathed, "how do you do this to me all the time? One minute we're working or doing something perfectly normal, the next, I feel like I'll die if I don't touch you." He bit Mac's throat, sucking on the warm, salty skin until a massive bruise blossomed. Only then did he let go, an expression of pure satisfaction showing in his eyes.

Mac dropped to his knees and nuzzled against the denim-covered bulge, mouthing it softly to feel Vic quiver.

"Cool it, guys," Alex warned softly, coming up behind them. "The cops'll be here any minute. Keep it in your pants till we get home."

Vic groaned painfully, but he knew his cousin was right. He dragged Mac back to his feet and pushed him into the car after a quick but deep kiss that nearly buckled both their knees.

"Eyes on the road, guys. Don't get yourselves killed," was Alex's parting shot as he slid into Mulder's car, he, Mulder and Sin all in the front seat.

Totally ignoring seatbelt laws and common sense, Sin curled up on Alex's lap, both of them watching Fox drive. Alex whispered something in her ear, and a chirrup of laughter escaped her before she clapped both hands over her mouth. After a moment she nodded.

Fox watched them out the corner of his eye, wondering what they were up to. When those two got that mischievous gleam in their eyes, it was time to hunt for shelter. Somehow he always seemed to be at ground zero though, he mused with a grin. His eyes widened and his head whipped around suddenly.

"Watch the road, babe," Alex chuckled. "We wouldn't want to get in an accident."

Mulder dragged his eyes back to the road, the vision of what he had seen burned on his retinas. Alex had unfastened Sin's jeans and blouse, and pushed the denims down, along with her underwear. He'd also unhooked the front clasp of her bra, leaving her the next thing to naked in his lap. Her legs were spread wide, hooked outside his, and his fingers were teasing the soft, pink flesh between her thighs.

Mulder dared another quick glance, and he could see the wetness gleaming on her and on Alex's fingers. He also noticed Alex's other hand lightly pinching the pouting tips of her breasts while Sin gasped and squirmed against him. Fox couldn't resist another minute; he reached over, sliding one hand over Sin's sensitive flesh and grasping the rock hard erection pressed against her. He smiled when both of his lovers gasped.

Alex moaned softly but forced himself to push Fox's hand away. "Uh uh, baby. You're the designated driver, so you just keep your attention on the road. Nothing distracting till you get us home. Both hands on the wheel at all times."

Mulder groaned. This was going to be a long drive.

He kept sneaking glances at the two beside him, knowing they wanted him to watch them, desperately wanting to touch them. He saw Alex fingerfuck Sin while she writhed on his hand, her hands back around his neck, clutching at him. He watched Alex suck on Sin's throat as she arched back uncomfortably to offer herself to him, and he listened to her cries of pleasure. He whimpered and pressed harder on the gas when he saw Alex unfasten his own jeans and slide inside Sin. He could hear her sounds of pleasure, and he wanted Alex inside _him_. He glanced over again and saw the expression of rapture on her face as she rode Alex, saw Alex's fingers teasing her clit, and he groaned again.

"Wassa... oh fuck! oh god, Alex..." Sin whined his name and lurched against his fingers, "what's... oh yeah!... the matter, babeeeeee!" She ended on a shriek. "Feeling left out, sweetie?" She suddenly leaned forward, gasping at the sensation of Alex shifting inside her, and nibbled on the cloth covered bulge between his legs.

Fox's hips rose off the seat, and Sin laughed breathlessly and sat back, wriggling on Alex. "Home, Fox," she repeated.

"Fucking teases!" he snarled.

It was Alex's turn to laugh. "And you love every minute of it, babe."

"Right this second, I think I hate you! God, _touch_ me!"

"Poor baby," Alex purred, stretching one arm along the back of the seat so he could tangle his fingers in Fox's hair. "There, is that better?" he asked sweetly.

The look Mulder threw his way could have dissolved steel. "You are going to pay for this, you bastard. And don't think you're gonna get off scot free either," he snarled at the giggling woman in Alex's lap.

"Oh, but I _am_ going to get off," Sin argued. "And...mmmm... very soon too. God, don't you just love to feel Alex inside you, Fox? He feels sooo good..."

"So do you, sweetheart, so do you," Alex groaned. "So hot and wet and tight, you fit me like you were made for me... just like Fox does. I don't know which of you feels better, don't ever want to choose. God!" He suddenly gripped her hips hard, holding her still. "Too close, can't take much more."

"Alex, come inside me," she moaned, "I want to feel you. I love making you lose control like that, making you feel so good."

Fox was whimpering constantly now, and he thought he might break the speed of light getting home. He wondered vaguely what was happening in the other car because Mac was keeping up with him easily. A faint sob of relief escaped him when he saw the gate up ahead and realized they were almost home. He glanced over again and saw Sin undulating slowly on Alex, his fingers tugging at her nipples, grimaces of pleasure on both their faces.

The car squealed to a halt outside the front door, and Mulder switched the engine off, turning his full attention on the two who'd been teasing him. Two pairs of glazed green eyes stared back at him, and Sin moved as if to climb off Alex.

"Don't you move!" Mulder warned, causing both of his lovers to freeze. "Good. I want you to turn around, Sin - Carefully! I don't want Alex to come out of you - so you're facing him, and hang onto him. And you, Alex, you're going to carry her into the house like that."

"But my jeans! They're half off already; I'll trip and kill us both," Alex protested.

"Good point. Raise your hips, baby."

Alex bit his lip but did as he was told. A moment later he felt his boots and jeans yanked off, leaving him naked from the waist down.

Mulder eyed his half-naked lovers, chewing on his lower lip reflectively. "Nope," he announced, "not quite right. Lose the shirts." After a brief hesitation, they did, and Mulder smiled. "Perfect. Okay, time to go inside." He glanced over his shoulder, noting that Vic and Mac hadn't made it out of their car yet either.

"But... Vic and Mac..." Alex tried.

"I. Don't. Care. Now move it!"

Sin groaned and buried her face in Alex's neck, whimpering at the sensations deep inside her when he stood up. Mulder followed them into the house, admiring the muscles flexing in Alex's ass as he walked. The minute they got inside, he shoved Alex forward against the bench in the hallway. Sin landed on her back on top of it with Alex even deeper inside her while Mulder held him down with a hand in the small of his back. His other hand was busy unfastening his jeans, then groping in the drawer of the table beside it for the lube he knew had to be there. Only moments after walking in the door, Fox was imbedded deep inside that luscious ass, feeling the tightness grip his cock.

Alex moaned desperately at the feeling of fullness in his ass and Sin's tightness gripping his own cock. He didn't think he could take much more, then Mulder caught an earlobe between his teeth and tugged. "Don't come, baby," he breathed, his tongue flicking out to trace the sensitive whorls, making Alex shudder. "Not till I do. Will you do that for me?"

Alex could only whine, verbalizing being beyond him at that point, but he nodded jerkily.

"Good boy." Fox petted him as a reward, stroking the length of his torso down to the base of his cock where it vanished inside Sin. Both men looked down at her, seeing her pleasure as Fox pushed Alex into her with every thrust.

"She's coming, isn't she, baby?" Fox murmured in Alex's ear. "It feels so good when her muscles clench around you. You can feel them fluttering, milking the pleasure out of you, but you won't give in, will you? No, you promised me you'd wait for me, and I know you won't break your promise." He licked along Alex's jawline, feeling the tightness of the clenched jaw as Alex held back his orgasm with a whip and a chair.

Suddenly the door flew open again, and Vic and Mac stumbled in, literally tripping over the other three and landing on the floor at their feet.

Alex stared down at the men writhing in his front hallway, their pants undone and their glistening erections rubbing together, and a moan of anguish escaped him. "Fox, _please_ ," he begged.

"Not. Yet," Fox gritted out.

The newcomers looked up at them, only vaguely aware of their presence. "Lube," Vic begged, and Mulder reached around for it and dropped it into his hand.

Now Mulder was fucking Alex while watching Vic fuck Mac, the best of both worlds. Alex had his eyes shut tightly, every muscle in his body clenched as he tried not to come while Sin continued to come on him, Mulder worked his ass, and two guys fucked inches from his feet. All he could hear, smell, feel was sex, and he loved it. His entire body was electrified, the pleasure racing through him, and he quivered visibly.

Mulder stroked him, feeling the shudders of pre-orgiastic rapture rippling through him, and he shifted slightly so that he struck the hypersensitive gland inside him dead on with his next stroke even as he whispered, "Come for me, baby."

Alex screamed his bliss, trying to shove forward and back simultaneously. Sin arched up into him, coming yet again, and Mulder pushed as far into him as he could get, shuddering as he released inside Alex, filling him with heat.

After a moment, or maybe an hour, Mulder looked down at Vic and Mac, who lay in each other's arms next to a cooling puddle of sticky fluid. For a moment they all stared at one another uncomfortably. What exactly was the proper thing to say after fucking in your hosts' entry, beside your hosts? Vic wondered.

Mulder suddenly grinned. "I know what you're thinking, Vic. Don't worry about it. We weren't exactly standing on ceremony either."

Alex snickered. "All I have to say is 'Thanks, come again.'"

After the boos and hisses died down, Mulder slowly withdrew from him and straightened up, groaning. "Shit, I'm too old for this. Next time we wait to get to a _bed_!"

Alex also moaned faintly as he straightened up. "Don't say that like it's _my_ fault. You're the one who threw me down and had your wicked way with me."

"Complaining?"

"Fuck no!"

They all laughed, slowly dragging themselves upstairs to get some sleep.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?" He eyed Mac warily.

"What happened to your clothes?"

Alex flipped him the finger, and they parted with more laughter. Just before they went inside their rooms, Mulder glanced back with a grin. "It's great when you come, guys, but I don't know if I'll survive a week of this."

Alex cuddled against him. "Don't worry, babe. I'll revive you!"


End file.
